Ranch Dressing
One of the hardest parts of switching to a paleo/Whole30 diet was, for me, the condiments. I am the condiment QUEEN.
Years ago Jess and I used to go to the gym together after work, and occasionally, we’d go out to dinner together after that. Really reverse all that work we had done in the gym. Makes sense! One of the fine establishments we used to frequent was Friendly’s. I’m pretty sure Friendly’s is a restaurant found mostly in the northeast. If I had to describe it I would say it’s kind of like diner food, but at the same time it really markets to parents. Kids eat free on Wednesday, kids eat free after some random sports team wins, stuff like that. My favorite menu item was always the Turkey Supermelt. It was basically a glorified grilled cheese with sliced turkey, sliced tomato (which I always asked them to leave out) and Thousand Island dressing. I used to order mine with extra Thousand Island, and I asked for a side of Thousand Island as well. I seriously cannot get enough condiments in my life.
We took a Friendly’s hiatus for a little while. We went back months (or maybe even a year) later. I ordered my usual Turkey Supermelt, and the waitress just looked at me deadpan and said: “Extra Thousand Island, right?” Woooowwwww okay I never thought I was THAT memorable but apparently I am. I’ll try not to let it all go to my head. Jess BURST out laughing and thought it was the funniest thing ever. A new inside joke was born. Every time I ask for any condiment anywhere now she exclaims: “Back the truck up!” Insinuating that I could eat a truckload of whatever condiment I’ve just asked for…she’s not exactly incorrect in her assumption.
That was a long story to prove to you that I really know my condiments, okay? I know my condiments and I take them very seriously. And paleo/Whole30 condiments are tricky! There’s just something about the combination of sugar and soybean oil in regular shelf stable salad dressings that make them super delicious and addicting. When I started eating paleo in early 2017, salad dressings were the last switch I made. Because truth be told, they usually just aren’t great. Or at the very least, they’re not what we’re at all used to.
I made my rendition of Ranch Dressing several weeks ago. I tried it then and thought it was just ‘meh.’ I decided to put it on the back burner for the time being. It wasn’t a fail by any means, but it wasn’t quite what I was expecting either. The mason jar kept getting shoved farther and farther back in my fridge. I felt bad throwing it out, but I just haven’t been eating a ton of salads the past few weeks so I had no real reason to eat it either. Fast forward to this past Friday night. Last week I was a bit ambitious and bought a huge tub of greens thinking I would eat a large salad for dinner every night last week. That didn’t happen. But last Friday night I went to a Metafit class at the gym, went grocery shopping, got home and was STARVING. Feeling bad about my neglected tub of greens, I decided to make myself a big dinner salad with greens, chives, mini cukes, and more mini cukes. I just love those little guys. I had a difficult time trying to decide what dressing I wanted. To go with my usual Primal Kitchen choices? Or to venture outside my comfort zone and dig to the depths of my fridge to locate weeks-old homemade Ranch?
I did the thing. I dusted off my homemade Ranch, opened it up, and…was shocked by what I saw. I really expected it to have gone bad by that point. I was expecting a lot of green and a lot of fuzz. But quite the contrary! It smelled great, but it had gotten a little bit thicker from when I last left it. Not a problem! All I did to thin it out was add a little more of the carton nut milk I used to make it in the first place. Genius. The end result was a consistency of dressing that coated all my salad contents quite nicely. And even better, it tasted fantastic.
Maybe it’s just me, but that’s pretty rare for paleo/Whole30 dressings. Most of them are so thin they just pool in the bottom of the bowl. Cool. You won’t have that problem here!
Just a few notes on the ingredients I chose to use. Firstly, start with a good mayo with clean ingredients. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Sir Kensington’s Avocado Oil Mayo is now SUGAR FREE! I bought a huge tub of it at Costco for just $7.99. Such a good deal because I use mayo for so many things. Primal Kitchen Avocado Oil Mayo is another safe bet. Secondly, a clean, dairy-free carton milk that you like the taste of is the other half of making a good Ranch Dressing. Elmhurst 2 Ingredient Milked Cashews is my go-to in several of my recipes and this one is no exception. Truthfully, you are looking for mayo and nut milk with the least flavor as possible. That sounds odd, I know, but as you probably already know, Ranch Dressing is really all about all the seasonings! If you have too strong a base, I don’t think this will work out quite the way you want it to.
Phew. This has been a very long blog post to discuss something as simple as Ranch Dressing. Take it as my dedication to the wonderful world of condiments.
Ranch Dressing
Ingredients
Method
- In a small bowl or mason jar, combine mayo, all of the spices, apple cider vinegar, and lemon juice. Add in the dairy-free milk, ½ tsp at a time while stirring constantly, until your desired Ranch Dressing consistency is achieved.
- Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to two weeks. If you find that your dressing gets thicker the longer it is stored in the refrigerator, thin out with the same dairy-free milk if desired.
